This article will be a little more personal than my previous articles. I want to share a bit about myself, my identity and what it means to me to be seen and affirmed.
Monday, March 31, was the International Transgender Day of Visibility, but I was just as invisible as any other day. You see, I’m not out on the job. I haven’t told my co-workers or my students that I’m genderqueer. They don’t know my preferred pronouns and they default to feminine pronouns based on who they perceive me to be. It hurts and I hate it.
I probably could come out. I know the laws in Illinois and I’m protected under anti-discrimination laws. My co-workers are pretty decent people, they might understand, right? I may never know. All I know is the tightness in my chest and stomach when I think about having “the talk” with them. I feel nauseous and anxious like I need to hide or curl up in a ball. I also feel dishonest and a bit deceitful. Fear keeps me silent and holds (more…)