Why Do We Fear Death?
By Ufuoma Lamikanra | Wednesday, November 30th, 2011
By Ufuoma Lamikanra. Why do many people fear death? I believe that it is a fear of the unknown. If you do not know what will happen to you at the end of life, it is a normal feeling to be afraid. This fear appears to be common among both young and old persons. When my then four year old daughter (she is now about 33 years old) was bitten by a dog, she kept on asking if she was going to die. A colleague told me of a man who always left a gathering of friends whenever the discussion turned to issues on or related to the end of life. Others took advantage of his fears and regularly excluded him from their midst by discussing such “unpleasant” issues.
However, my grandfather was not afraid to die. He desired death instead. At about the age of 90 years (calculated, since there were no records when he was born), many of his age mates – friends and relatives, no longer visited him and he suspected that they had died. He was always told that they were alive. Nobody was bold enough to tell him the truth. One of his almost daily wishes was to join them, as he could not understand what he was still doing on earth while all his contemporaries were gone.
Many Africans, especially men, loathe leaving the world without leaving behind certain “achievements”. A man is regarded as a failure, if he is unmarried, does not own a house and more importantly, has no male child at the time of death. The absence of a male heir means the tragic end of a lineage as that family name becomes extinct. The pain of death is somewhat lessened by the fact that the deceased left behind male children, to carry on the family name.
A notable feature of the end of life in many African cultures is the belief that most deaths are not natural, but occur through supernatural means. There is always a strong suspicion that someone, usually a close relative, must have been responsible for a death in the family. Sadly, wives are usually accused of killing their husbands, while husbands are rarely accused of ending their wives’ lives. So, who is responsible for women’s death? According to my auntie, women kill their husbands, while women die as a result of their sins.











